The quote that forms the title of this blog post is an actual quote that I read, clearly written by a moron. Whilst depression and anxiety are not necessarily visible to the naked eye (although quite frequently, they present themselves in symptoms which are visible to the naked eye), they can still exist. The assumption that nothing can be proven to be real unless it can be seen is ridiculously ignorant, and frankly moronic.
I know that depression exists. Why? Let me tell you:
- I’ve felt it
- I’ve lived it
- I’ve seen it
- I’ve heard its voice
- Ive fought it
- Ive overcome it.
Depression can be felt. Infact, it demands to be felt. Sometimes it feels like there’s something inside of your body that is ripping your heart out. Nevertheless, whilst depression can force you to feel in negative ways that you never knew existed, it can also destroy any feeling – it can leave you numb and empty. When I wake up feeling blank and expressionless, I know depression is there. The numbness tells me it exists. And when depression decides to relieve my mind of the numbing, it can often replace it with a sadness that I simply cannot put into words. To feel sad is natural, and it is healthy, to feel depressed is something quite different altogether. It is these feelings that I find within myself, that make me certain depression exists.
Depression, and anxiety, have a voice. Yet they are clever. They morph their cruel lies and their irrational perspectives to replicate the voice I am familiar with. They morph themselves into the voice I recognise as “me”. Believe me, sometimes it is hard to differentiate between the voice that is mine, and the voice that is the illness. Yet I know that depression and anxiety is real. And I know that depression and anxiety is not me.
From my experiences, I would suggest that illness can be debilitating. The illness can limit you, and prevent you from reaching your full potential. For as long as the illness is around, some things may be impossible. Mental illness is no different. It has stolen my voice, and sometimes my words. I have felt it behind my eyes, taking up the space where life once existed. I’ve felt it strip me bare of all emotion. I’ve watched it engulf me, push those close to me away.
It stole my innocence, it stole my energy, and it borrowed my hope.
How can I be so certain that these feelings and these thoughts truly are the result of mental illness, and not simply a result of my personality?
The answer is simple. I know that depression and anxiety is real, and that it is separate from me, because I have lived without it. I have periods where I am winning, and depression and anxiety are weak. It is these times that I am able to confirm, with full confidence, that depression and anxiety exist. That they can come and go like many other illnesses. I can contrast the times when I am well, with the times that I am ill. Those close to me could undoubtedly think of periods when I am well, and contrast those with periods when depression and anxiety have their grip.
Depression stole my innocence, it stole my energy, and it borrowed my hope.
So, dear moron, depression and anxiety may not be as obvious as other illnesses which you suggest can be “proven to exist”, but if you actually open your eyes, you will realise that they can be seen. They can be seen, and proven, if you broaden your mind and get your head out of your arse.